Thursday, December 23, 2004

because Greggy posted

Greg posted what the weather is going to be like where he's spending the next week or so. I just thought I'd post what the weather is going to be like where I'm spending the next 2 weeks:

Yay! :)


I really liked the song before, I like it even more now.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Christmas is coming

Being in California during this season is a little strange to me. When I was in Claremont, it was different because I was always so busy that nothing around seemed to matter. Now that I have more time to notice things, it seems that Christmas in California lacks something. I find it funny that people can call this area home (I was telling this to someone at work today who replied, "I find it funny that you call Hawaii home"). That totally makes sense. But California seems like this place where people are just kinda hanging out. Maybe I think that because I'm just hanging out, but I don't know if I could ever make my home here.

So I've been feeling a little disillusioned about Christmas this year anyway. The whole idea of being pressured to buy people things that they want, and not being able to figure it out so you just get them something meaningless seems, hmm, meaningless. And I don't know the area so I don't know the stores, where to go for anything. At home you can go to Pearlridge and know what you're going to find there. I feel like I use Yahoo! yellowpages like a madwoman and it's getting a little tiring. And everything's so amazingly crowded and crazy.

Not being surrounded by Christian community makes it hard too. I miss things like Thanksgiving praise and Christmas fellowship meetings. At the same time, through this experience, I feel like I can relate with Jesus in his entrance into a world that didn't understand him, that scorned him. Not that I'm being scorned in any way, just feeling a little homeless/homesick. Jesus really left his home and "pitched his tent" with us. So that we could have a high priest who is familiar with our pains and our trials (I AM actually learning something from Hebrews). Anyway, more to come later. Been busy lately.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004


This feels really weird to me. I didn't know him personally, maybe seen him around in school. The thing that really gets to me is that he's so young. He graduated 2 years after me! This page has a little more detail about his military service:

So Trudy tells me about this last night, and she's saying that Ron's just waiting to get out of the Army Reserves. One of his good friends in the Reserves (in his same discipline) was told that he was going to get shipped there, so he joined active service and chose to go to Germany. Brad will be there in the beginning of next year. My co-worker's husband is another Camp Pendleton marine who will be there till april. This sucks. I don't know what else to say. My prayers go out to all of the soldiers in Iraq and all their family and friends waiting for them at home.

Monday, December 13, 2004

the good stuff

You know what I love? When see glimpses into people's lives that tell you who they really are; those little nuggets of authenticity that you don't get most of the time that you interact with people. I've been observing people a lot lately. I feel like I'm constantly thinking about them, about why they do the things that they do, what truly makes them happy, what makes them sad. I love it when I can see that, something deeper than what I'd seen before. I've been realizing that some people try protect these things. They don't want to let you see who they really are. Because if they do, somehow they're left open and vulnerable to you. I think in the midst of that vulnerability, there can be a connection made, a bond of trust. It's sad to see how many people keep who they really are from others. I just want to be real, and to see what's real in others. I want to be their friend and for them to be mine. I will trust you with who I am. Sincere love, authenticity, not holding back -- that's what it's all about.

Read 2 Corinthians 6:4-13:

"4 Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; 5 in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; 6 in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; 7 in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; 8 through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; 9 known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; 10 sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

2CO 6:11 We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 12 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 13 As a fair exchange--I speak as to my children--open wide your hearts also."

It's really cool when you find people that are real. That's partly why I love talking to the elderly. They're amazingly honest. It's refreshing. They'll tell you their favorite memories, their saddest moments, their deepest desires without hesitation even though you've just met them 5 minutes before. I talked with a wonderful woman named Margaret last friday. She is 83 years old. Her husband died in 1973 from cancer. She's been a widow for over 30 years. She misses him a lot, she says, especially around Christmas time because he loved Christmas. She said he was Italian, the most laid-back guy you'd ever meet. He was healthy, took good care of himself, a prized boxer in Pennsylvania where they were from. He won the diamond belt and golden gloves (I didn't really know what those are but I assume they're pretty prestigious among the boxing community). She then mentions that he had the diamond taken out of the belt and put in her engagement ring as she shows me the ring. She said that he died too young, but she's glad for the years that she had with him. Cancer is a terrible disease. He started complaining about a stitch in his side one day, he was gone 3 months later.

I could tell you much more about Margaret if you wanted to hear it, or Vi, another woman I met that day. I don't think there is any way that I can forget the memories that they shared with me. Praise God for the bonds He created, for the blessing of being able to spend one afternoon with two wonderful ladies. There's much more to say, but I'm ending it here. This has taken me a little too long to write and I really need to finish my honeywell application. Take it easy folks.

Friday, December 10, 2004


Please pray for me. I feel like things in my life have been really good as of late. There is nothing for me to really complain about, yet I feel like crap. I am praying more than usual and trying to be disciplined in the way I use my time, and succeeding, but still feel really bad and it's affecting the way I'm interacting with people. I really think it's a spiritual thing. I realize that I've been fighting a lot for other people spiritually, but I haven't been so great at fighting for myself. So anyway, I'm sorry I've been really crabby and out of it. I appreciate the prayers. I will be out of this funk in no time.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

new pictures

I also posted a couple new pictures from last weekend. I'm sorry they're so disorganized. I want to organize them more but Brian's thing won't let me make any new albums (so it's his fault). :) Anyway, go see my new pictures!

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

i don't have a title for this one

Jon reminded me today of my loyal fans who I seem to be depriving of information by not blogging. Sorry to disappoint :). There has just been so much to say that it gets exceedingly harder to express as days go by.

This last weekend Brian visited, I interviewed with Honeywell, went to the cancer center Christmas party/fundraising event, visited a church that I actually liked, listened to some servant partners teaching from Kevin Blue on dating, and got to spend time with more people than I've seen in a long time. You would think that from looking at my life, I would already realize that my life can change dramatically in the span of 4 days, but it seems I don't learn as quickly as I should. I feel like I'm in a place where everything is changing. There's not a great deal of stability. I guess the fact that everything is changing doesn't seem to be changing though, so maybe I can find comfort in that :). I look at most of my friends lives (Brian excluded, but even him because he seems to kinda know what he wants to do) and it just looks like their lives are more stable. They have things that they're committed to. They'll have a crazy weekend like me and be back to work on monday. There are good and bad things to that as well I realize. I am just finding it difficult to know where God wants me, or to know that God wants me where I am right now.

I found out that I am moving out of Sharon's place by the end of the month because she'll be moving to Korea. I'm really going to miss her :(. I'm not sure where I'm going to be working then. I'm not sure if I'm going home to Hawaii for Christmas but I'm leaning toward it.

I am currently feeling a little down about job prospects. I kinda regret turning down the job offer that I got (oh, I turned it down by the way) because I felt like I actually wanted to do that work. I am just afraid I'm going to end up sitting in a cubicle staring at a computer screen for 40 hours a week for the next who knows how many years. I do not look forward to doing that. I feel like I turned it down mostly because I didn't want to make a decision. I felt I could put off the decision more by not taking it, then I wouldn't have to start right away, I could still wait to commit. Thinking about the future gives me this sick feeling inside. Maybe that's why I'm stuck in a place where everything is unstable. Who knows? Pray that God leads me to something that I won't hate and that I can know it's where I'm supposed to be.

This weekend was amazing as far as seeing God. That was really good because I totally needed it. I went into it in a kind of funk. I kinda fell into it after thanksgiving because I was really tired after all the hosting and stuff. I was really encouraged by a number of conversations I had this weekend as well as the experience at the church I went to. Brian and I visited a mennonite church on sunday in Inglewood. It was crazy awesome. I'd say like 90% of the congregation was black and there was incredible gospel music throughout the service, good teaching, and a great community. I felt like I could worship God freely and sincerely. It was the most sincere I have felt in worship in a long time. I really liked the fact that it seemed like they did so much with the little that they had. Maybe I'll go there again sometime.

IT seems like God has been speaking to me a lot of words of wisdom this weekend. This might seem kinda weird and out of nowhere, but I keep entertaining these thoughts of speaking and teaching these things to other people, like that's what I'm wanting to do. I don't know what to do with that (maybe I'll be a pastor yet). Again, who knows?

Alright, I still have all these random thoughts in my head, but I don't know exactly how to write them down at the moment. I hope that this satisfies my audience for the time being. Pray for all the peeps out in Claremont working hard on papers and studying for those finals. Peace.