Thursday, January 27, 2005

EIT is passed!!!!!

It has been so long that I almost forgot I took the test. With it being 8 hours long, that's a hard thing to forget. But I passed! Yay!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

no moving this weekend

probably next. who knows?

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


So after being annoyed at the dent in my car, I called up some places to see how much it would cost to fix. I think it would have been from $200-300. One guy I talked to was really helpful though cuz he said that maybe I could push it out from the inside cuz the rubber seal on car doors usually come off and you can pull up the upholstery on the inside and get to the metal. I dragged Liz outside with me and was determined to fix Cleo, my poor baby. So after trying a bunch of stuff, I found this little panel thing on the inside and it came out and I stuck my hand in and pushed out the side. It's still kinda broken cuz if you push on it again from the outside, it will dent again, but it makes me feel somewhat better that I can fix it, and that I wasn't afraid to try taking things apart.

In other news, if you haven't kept up with Liz's blog, word on the street (our street that is and probably only including me, Liz, the landlady, and the construction guys) is that we're moving this weekend. That should be fun. If anyone wants to help out, let me know :). We are planning on feeding all who are helping!


All I have to say that you do not want to build anything in the City of Irvine. No matter how badly you might want to, you should move the project to another city. Actually though, if you really want to, I know the building inspectors there very personally. Also, does anyone know how to push/pull out dents in a car?

Friday, January 14, 2005

i figured it out!

The funk/anxiety is coming from pressure to be in a different place in my life than I am right now. I am feeling like where I am in life right now is definitely a place of transition, not life. The longer I'm in it, the longer I'm in a place I'm not supposed to be. So I'm stressed about everything, feeling like I'm constantly not doing enough, and I keep feeling like I'm not even living. On top of that, doing things to get out of this place is getting more and more difficult. However, I AM trying. There are many reasons for this but I think I am especially feeling it from my mom, which is why I have developed a subconscious defense mechanism to avoid talking to her at the moment. I don't mean to, but I'm stressed and I know that talking to her will only make me more stressed. Mom, if you are reading this, don't stress me out. I'm trying.

This way of thinking has sadly penetrated all aspects of my life though. So I have been stressed out about friends, living situations, money, and Brian among other things. Sorry for that everyone. Pray for me. Now that I know why I'm freaking out, it's a lot easier to deal with, and I am starting to realize that things are actually alright.

it's official!

My car is named! :) I guess it's not that big of a deal except that it took me forever to name it. So you wanna know what it is? Huh, do you? :). Her name is Cleo. I would go through my whole explanation on why this name fits, but I don't think it's that important to anyone else and I already explained it all to Brian (I'm pretty sure it wasn't that important to him either). You can ask if you want to know. In other news, I'm feeling a little in a funk again. I don't like how things can change so quickly for me. I wish that I could just be stable for a little while. But it does mean that this funk will soon be over. Usually by the time I realize I'm in one, I'm on the the way out of it :).

There seems to be so much going on for people around me. Maybe that's getting me overwhelmed cuz I can't keep that many things in my head at the same time, like I'm supposed to be concerned for what's going on in the lives of all my friends at the same time and I can't really do that. But then I don't feel like I'm doing enough when I can't be concerned for everything at the same time. Maybe I should stop trying to talk to so many people, but I love talking to them, and I love finding out what's going on for them, but then I don't know what to do with it after that and I keep thinking I'm supposed to do more with it. I really should pray more too, but I get overwhelmed when I pray cuz there's so much to pray for and when I just pray for one thing, I feel bad cuz I'm thinking it's more important than all the others when it's just because I just happen to be thinking about that particular thing at the moment. Okay, I realize that things are not that complicated. I'm just feeling bad about things I shouldn't be feeling bad about and I should just pray as much as I can and know that God sees all the things I am concerned about. I am also thinking that the way that I think about stuff when I am concerned for others is kinda like praying. I could be wrong here, but I feel like the part of me that cares about others has to do with the heart that God gave me to love, and when I'm doing that (whether it's talking to them or thinking about them), I'm doing what God wants me to do, He sees my concern and He, since He loves them even more than I do, will do even more. Okay, I feel better now. This makes sense to me. What do you think? Also, all my friends out there, know that I love you a lot (so much so that I seem to always worry I'm not doing enough), and know that God loves you so much more.

I also have some things to write about a book that I read recently that made me feel kinda strange. I don't want to yet though cuz Brian won't let me tell him anything until he at least glances through it. If anyone else wants to glance through it, it's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon. Take it easy folks.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005


It has been a while since I listened to Launchcast. I did again today because I forgot my CD's in the car and while I was looking at my new computer, I found that it has a convenient headphone output thing in the front. Listening reminded me of times last year sitting in Brian's room listening to the happy station or laughing at Greg for rating all the country songs so high on Brian's station. Funny how music reminds you of so much. Anyway, it was good to have classic Matchbox Twenty, Goo Goo Dolls, Collective Soul, Sister Hazel, Plumb and Hootie playing while I worked today. Work is actually going really well right now. It's fun doing everything I've been doing, and I actually feel like I'm helpful.

I think this time in my life is full of learning new things (while working and just in general). I keep feeling like I am getting so much out of life. I love it!

Saturday, January 08, 2005

wow, long time no post

Hey guys. I'm sorry about the long break in posting. Being home was amazing, but there are some disadvantages too, like the irritating dial-up connection. Hawaii was beautiful although it rained some of the time I was home and only got to go to the beach once. Everything was so familiar and comfortable. I kinda fell into a funk yesterday because I realized what a huge change I'm having to make now. I'm feeling kinda homesick and I miss Sharon a lot (not that I feel like I'm not going to like living with Liz, it's just the feeling of having to start over again). After that little funk though, I seem to be doing better, realizing that with God I can get through anything. And when I think about all those people that have been left homeless by the tsunami, I realize that I'm complaining for nothing, and at the same time it helps me to have more compassion on them because I can "sort of" relate to the sense of homelessness.

I guess there's not much else to add. Hopefully I get to see River tomorrow. Oh, and I don't know how often I'll be posting now. I will pretty much only have internet at work, so I don't want to use it to post. We'll see what happens.