Monday, September 27, 2004
Okay, completely different topic. So we had alumni bible study last night right? And we were studying Hebrews 2:5-18. Studying Hebrews is pretty hard, but really rewarding when you finally get something after hitting your head against it for a long time. It was awesome. Anyway, me and Jon had this really weird moment in Bible study. You know when you think of something really funny in Bible study. So I was reading "so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death--that is, the devil" (part of Hebrews 2:14) and I was wondering "how does that work?" and all I saw in my head was the scene from the end of the third Matrix where Neo gets "injected" by Smith and that's how he destroys him. So I started laughing (the scene by the way did not help me to understand more how that whole thing works). But later, when sharing about why I was laughing, I was saying "how does that work?", and Jon goes, "Well, if you've seen the third Matrix movie . . ." I mean, it seems to me a very rational thing to think when reading that passage, I think that most people would think of the third matrix movie in that context (hmm, is that weird?), but I thought it was funny the way it happened.
Oh, another totally different topic . . . Ed told me tonight that he has become a fan of my blog, so I want to send a shout-out to Ed, my new fan. Much love to all my other loyal fans too! :)
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Somehow I feel like right now God wants me to be here, where I do kinda have to think about stuff. I think He wants me here especially for the relationships. I feel like I've been seeing just how important relationship is, to people, and to God. How much of a blessing it's been for me to get to keep in touch with so many people and grow in my friendships with them, and how much you're able to help and encourage others through your friendships with them. I am praying that I can be doing the most with where God has put me.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Because he worked around there and knew people, he had friends coming to visit and he'd be going back and forth to guide on the weekends. Will was commenting to me one friday as we were walking to the Marian House (soup kitchen) that he was feeling a little funny about knowing other people around, like it was harder for him to really get into the "intern experience" because not everything was brand-new to him. I can kinda understand what he was talking about now. I feel like I'm kinda in a familiar place but doing very new things and it feels a little weird. I don't think that you missed out on very much though Will. It was really awesome to hang out with Will this summer. I feel like he is someone that I really would like to have gotten to know better. Even though he won't stand around at work and talk about it for hours while we're supposed to be working (he has a lot of integrity in his work), you can tell he really cares about what's going on for you. I would remember as he would walk by my desk to fill up his double gulp cup, he would ask me how things were going. It wasn't difficult to get into a serious conversation with him, because it's like he wasn't afraid to get under the surface, even though he didn't know you very well. Thanks Will. I also remember the first time we went rafting, we met up with a couple of his friends and I had one of the most encouraging conversations of the summer with one of his friends who I had just met. It was like God showing His goodness to me. Will is good people and Will knows good people.
I don't know if I should really put this down here cuz I am not sure Amanda knows yet, but if she doesn't, Will don't show her my blog. Anyway, Will is planning on proposing to his girlfriend Amanda very soon. He's working really hard to be able to afford a ring. And he's planning to invite all of us to his wedding (he better be at least!).
Okay, so from all this serious stuff I'm writing about Will, you must think that he's a pretty serious kind of guy. I don't know about that one. I guess he might be one of those complicated people because he can be completely serious, but be the least serious at the same time. We'll be having a serious discussion about something and then he'll make a terrible joke keeping a completely serious look on his face. Will is great a dry humor. Actually, I wouldn't say great because he must be funny only less than half the times he tries to be :). I miss his trying to tell jokes and getting to mock him because his jokes aren't funny.
Will lived with Ho-Jun this summer. I mean they were housemates, so he got some of the korean experience, however it seems that Will is lousy at korean. I think by the end of the summer Will knew exactly 4 korean words I think. 2 of which were kim-chee and bu-gol-gi. He would show off his korean knowledge by chanting "kim-chee bu-gol-gi kim-chee bu-gol-gi", and we'd all laugh at him. Good try Ho-Jun.
Anyway, I wanted to come up with a better nickname for Will. I didn't want to use the same one, so I used one to appeal to all those pun-lovers. The "Blue-Steel" nickname was all because Will tries to do the blue-steel pose for the camera pretty often, and I have to say is the best out of all of the interns at doing it. I don't know if that is saying much. I guess that's it. I think I must have left out a lot of stuff. I'm sorry Will if I have. It's what I get for procrastinating so long. I can write more later if something comes to me. It was good talking to you yesterday, and I wish you the best. Remember, invitations to the wedding . . .
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Usually I'm not so crazy about online quizzes, but this one turned out pretty well.
When they first meet you, few people can tell whether you want to say hello or goodbye. Either way, most of them will end up saying that you're their favorite person to visit, if only they could afford the trip. But your soft and warm image is
belied by an explosive undercurrent in your personality than can leave you drenched with tears or boiling with anger for days on end. You are rather fond of using plants as clothing.
Take the State Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Friday, September 17, 2004
Monday, September 13, 2004
I was so upset, and it just seemed that every different train of thought I started became negative. I was just angry about everything, and wanted to complain about everything in my life. Some random thought made me think of Jonah and how he disobeys God and complains to God about everything in his life. I can really relate to Jonah. Kinda sad, but it might be one of the characters in the bible that I am the most like. (I took a personality test once that told me that one of the people in the bible with my personality is Jonah, but that's a different story) Anyway, it made me think about how things are hard, and I don't necessarily WANT to be where God wants me to be because it's pretty painful; I mean for Jonah, the path that took him to prophesy to Ninevah could have been really hard, and maybe that's the reason he decided not to do it (probably isn't, but could have been). I guess it's pretty obvious what the right conclusion to that train of thought is, but sometimes it's really hard to convince yourself that where God wants you is the place you need to be even though it sucks. I prayed and asked God to help me to believe it, and help me to change the way I was seeing things.
It's amazing how my thoughts changed after that. I thought about how yesterday I feel like I was refreshed a little, getting a glimpse of God again after not really seeing Him for a while. I wanted to put more effort into making some changes in my life and aligning my life to be more like Jesus. I remembered how often opposition comes right after revelation, that these hard things may have been there to test my faith in the things God has been revealing to me. I also was able to remember God's amazing love for me, how He cares about the things going on in my life, so it's not like I really have to worry about where He puts me, because "He works everything out for the good of those who love Him and who are called by His purpose." It was really nice to walk in the park too. It's a pretty park, the wind was blowing (I love the wind) and I just felt at peace. Sigh. Thanks God.
I was thinking about something else today too. I was thinking about the people I hang out with, and have realized a trend. I have always seen either a group of all Christians or mostly Christians with one or two non-Christians, or a group where I'm pretty much the only Christian. I guess in all my experience this has been the case, not only the groups I hang out with, but also in groups my friends have described to me. I don't like either of these situations. In the first, there's always this tendency for Christians to be exclusive and get into the Christian culture and make other people feel uncomfortable. But in the other situation, I often feel like if I make decisions based on what I am convicted to do, people see me as thinking I'm too good for them. I don't have accountability and fellowship in those groups at all. Hmm, I guess it's pretty much just the tendency of Christians to hang out with Christians, and non-Christians to hang out with non-Christians, and the fact that no one really wants to mix. Often when a Christian mixes with a group of non-Christians, he tends to compromise a lot of his beliefs. It's interesting to think about. I love Christian people, and I love non-Christian people, I love hanging out with everybody. I don't really know why it has to be so difficult. I guess I don't have much more to share on this topic. I don't have too many clear answers. Just thought I'd throw it out there cuz I was thinking about it.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Anyway, we got back today and I went to the first alumni bible study. It was awesome! There were only 4 people there, me, Rosey, Jon, and James. We studied Luke 7:24-35. I don't think I've ever studied that passage inductively before. I feel like it made me think about really cool things that I haven't thought about in a long time. Strange, but it feels like it's been forever since I really thought about grace. Such a fundamental idea in the Christian life, but when I thought about it again, it surprised me and seemed really new to me that our place in the kingdom of God has nothing to do with us, but only to do with the grace we're given from God. Then God showed me something really applicable to my life right now in his metaphor about the people of this generation. "They are like children sitting in the marketplace and calling out to each other: "We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not weep." -Luke 7:32. Jesus emphasizes the importance of rejoicing with others when they rejoice and mourning with others when they mourn. I thought about the way I've been feeling about
people lately (like what I posted on my last blog entry), and I definitely haven't been so sympathetic. I think especially about the mourning when others mourn thing. People have
People have been talking to me a lot lately about relationships they feel negatively about, that they're not happy about the way things are going. Whenever I hear them talk about that, it just makes me think of all the relationships in my life that I feel really crappy about.There are way too many, and it makes me sad, but I think for the wrong reasons. So I think I have been running away from those people, even though that's like the opposite of compassion. We talked in the bible study about how to deal with that, and we came to the conclusion that we need to be at a place where we've come to terms with the hard stuff that's going on in our lives, so that we are able to help others. Not that it's going away anytime soon, but we can't just keep pushing all that stuff on the side and not deal with it. At least we need to come to a place where we have a peace that God can and will take care of it. So I'm going to try to apply it, and not run away from the hard stuff.
Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good after that. God's really good about showing you what you need to know when you need to know it :).
Thursday, September 09, 2004
I just feel kinda overwhelmed today, and I really don't understand why. It's not like I'm doing very much, but I have no energy to do stuff or talk to people, and I just feel like people only have negative things to talk about. People like to talk about what they see wrong with their lives and what they need. I guess my blog entry is mostly like that right now (funny huh?). I don't think it's bad in general. I think that we need to talk about the things we're not satisfied with, but I'm feeling like I need to be more thankful for stuff. When you're thankful, everything seems better.
So anyway, tomorrow I'm going to korean aerobics (bright and early) and run some errands, pack, then off camping. I don't know where we're going camping or really who we're going camping with (except Sharon and Ed and that the rest of them are from anime expo). It should be good though. I'm looking forward to some time with nature, taking in God's beauty. We are gonna get to go fishing! I also got the EIT review manual in the mail today, so we're taking that camping with us :). I'll try to take some pictures so I can share with everyone when I get back :).
Monday, September 06, 2004
Anyway, I guess what I'm wanting right now is just a little more ability to see God. I feel like when I was in Colorado, I didn't feel like I had these great personal interaction times with God, but I could see God so clearly in my life, in the ways things all turned out. I just feel like now I'm out of touch somehow, and I want things to mean more to me than they do. I've also only been back 2 weeks, and I always worry too much or become confused about things that aren't supposed to make me confused (i ALWAYS do this).
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Lisa's from Seattle, or around there somewhere and goes to UW along with 30 million other people. Okay, I'm exaggerating. She's another architecture major. We had too much of those this summer :). She's the only other intern from the "west side" (hahaha). Anyway, Lisa's really awesome. Because UW is on the quarter system, she came 2 weeks later than everyone else. She got here like one day before she had to leave for Honduras. She was feeling really sick that day too. She's a real trooper. I think that's something I really liked about her, it seemed like no matter what she was going through, she was able to take what was coming with a firm faith that God was going to get her through, and not only get her through, but bless her. She was often really excited about doing things and you'd never hear her complain.
Lisa also has an amazing faith. She loves to read and study the Bible. She works really hard to understand scripture deeply. It seems we had a lot of really deep thinkers among our intern group this summer. She also reads a lot of Christian literature. She reads so quickly, she pretty much inhales books. I love that. I wish I could do that. She also has a pretty healthy level of submission to authority. I think I lack that sometimes, and tend to have a rebellious streak because I really like to understand why I believe what I believe and why I am doing what I'm doing. She is good at submitting to authority, I think especially the authority of God.
Another thing about Lisa is that I think that she's a true introvert. She is very good about making sure she gets her alone time, whereas me and Jenni weren't so good about that :). It was good though because she encouraged(or forced) us to take breaks and spend some time with God. She has told me before that she is often bad about sharing things with other people, and that her relationships tend to be ones where other people share a lot with her and she listens and helps them, but she often doesn't share too much. Lisa is a really amazing listener though. She was really there for me when I was going through a lot of hard stuff this summer. She was always there to listen and support me. She left me a post-it note on my computer screen with a nice note and scripture. The verses were perfect for me too. I still have the post-it :). She would also send me "romantic" emails :) when I was saying I needed more romance in my life, and while Jenni called me "babe", Lisa called me "sweetie". It was really nice.
Let's not get the wrong idea here. Lisa has a boyfriend named Ben. It's kinda cool because Ben got an internship in Colorado Springs with Overseas International (is that right?) for the month of August, so he came down and we got to hang out with him a bunch too. This is a picture of Ben and Lisa. Something that was a little rough on me though was that they both liked puns waaaaaaaaay too much. Ben was a lot worse than Lisa, but she was pretty bad too. For being quiet and introverted, she had an extremely weird side too. I don't know how to explain it, but Lisa could get hyper and act pretty crazy. She also started using the contraction "w'all". I think it came from our teasing Dave about his southern accent and his saying "y'all", that she started using "w'all" to mean "we all". She'd send emails to all the interns asking "What're w'all doing tonight?" Although she did want breaks in our schedule, Lisa was good at planning our calendar. She'd bring "the list" (all the stuff we wanted to do this summer) to my desk, and we'd plan out weeks. It didnt' work so well, but she's a lot better at it than I am, so I think I was the weak link there.
Lisa was a great friend to me this summer. I hope that we will be able to keep in touch. She inspired me to seek strongly after God and not to compromise on your commitments to Him. She touched me through her encouragement and quiet faith, but also her ability to be excited and have fun.