Thursday, April 12, 2007

compliments anyone?

This blogging thing is harder than I thought. There are always a ton of random stuff going around in my mind, but trying to find something to write down that is coherent is very difficult. Ask Brian. Right now I'm telling him that I'm getting all stressed out trying to write a blog entry. Maybe it will take a little time to get used to writing again and I should just try, cuz eventually I'll get back into the swing of things.

Okay, so here's something I've been kind of thinking about for a while. I dunno if it is terribly important, or very interesting, but it kind of came up today, so I thought I'd write about it.

I realize that I'm really bad at complimenting people.

Sometimes at work, I'll get random compliments - about my clothes or this or that, and maybe it shouldn't, but it does make me feel a little better about myself; it makes me feel a little more confident. Then I start to wonder why I don't compliment people. I mean if I think it's nice when other people compliment me, why don't I do it for other people? I realized that one reason that I don't do it is because I think it's too fake. Isn't that funny? I mean, other people might mean it when they do it, but if they don't mean it, I fall for it anyway. Another reason is because I feel like I have more important things to say. I think I'm a very practical person, and I tend to communicate that way. No room for fluff, just say what is important to say, especially at work. But don't get me wrong, I interact with people in a very friendly way. I even think they perceive me as very friendly, I just have a hard time complimenting others.

Anyway, the point of this is that I think I'm going to try to practice. But only when I really mean it. Only when I do notice something about someone else, and am thinking it anyway. Maybe it will make someone smile or something. That would be nice.

Monday, April 09, 2007

she's back!

Hello my wonderful blog audience. Anyone still there? :)

Hmm. No matter. I'm back anyway.

This is my first post in a very long time, as you all have probably noticed. It is also my first post since I have gotten married (gasp!). So you're all probably asking yourselves why I'm posting again, or maybe you're asking yourselves why I stopped posting in the first place. I'll try my best to answer your questions.

If you read my last couple posts, you could maybe tell that I have kind of been in a rut. And I was also pretty busy for the last 6 months or so with getting married and stuff. In any case, I wasn't much in the mood for blogging.

My renewed motivation for blogging is coming about through realizing how passive I have been in the last couple years. I have just been going with the flow, and not being intentional about - well anything. If something came up, I would deal with it, and if something was fairly obviously the right choice, I would do it, but on the whole, I have been pretty inactive.

Yesterday was Easter Sunday. Brian and I were talking about things. I was feeling a lot of regret. Regret about the last couple years, regret about Lent this year because I don't feel like it went very well. I was feeling like I wanted to keep Lent going because I was feeling really down. I wanted to try to make up for it not going very well.

But now it is Easter . . . it's time to celebrate. Yesterday morning, I didn't feel too much like celebrating let me tell you (it didn't help that it was so gloomy outside). I really didn't know how you're supposed to do it - just celebrate all of a sudden, after being down for so long.

I realized after a little bit of moping that that's kind of the point of Easter. We are supposed to celebrate all of a sudden. We aren't supposed to get sucked into regret and shame because Jesus' death has the power to overcome that, to overcome all those mistakes. There is hope. I guess that is why I'm starting to blog again. I'm going to try to intentionally reflect and write down my thoughts. I'm going to try to look up and know there is always potential to do better because Jesus has overcome all my mistakes.

It feels good to be back.