Friday, January 14, 2005

it's official!

My car is named! :) I guess it's not that big of a deal except that it took me forever to name it. So you wanna know what it is? Huh, do you? :). Her name is Cleo. I would go through my whole explanation on why this name fits, but I don't think it's that important to anyone else and I already explained it all to Brian (I'm pretty sure it wasn't that important to him either). You can ask if you want to know. In other news, I'm feeling a little in a funk again. I don't like how things can change so quickly for me. I wish that I could just be stable for a little while. But it does mean that this funk will soon be over. Usually by the time I realize I'm in one, I'm on the the way out of it :).

There seems to be so much going on for people around me. Maybe that's getting me overwhelmed cuz I can't keep that many things in my head at the same time, like I'm supposed to be concerned for what's going on in the lives of all my friends at the same time and I can't really do that. But then I don't feel like I'm doing enough when I can't be concerned for everything at the same time. Maybe I should stop trying to talk to so many people, but I love talking to them, and I love finding out what's going on for them, but then I don't know what to do with it after that and I keep thinking I'm supposed to do more with it. I really should pray more too, but I get overwhelmed when I pray cuz there's so much to pray for and when I just pray for one thing, I feel bad cuz I'm thinking it's more important than all the others when it's just because I just happen to be thinking about that particular thing at the moment. Okay, I realize that things are not that complicated. I'm just feeling bad about things I shouldn't be feeling bad about and I should just pray as much as I can and know that God sees all the things I am concerned about. I am also thinking that the way that I think about stuff when I am concerned for others is kinda like praying. I could be wrong here, but I feel like the part of me that cares about others has to do with the heart that God gave me to love, and when I'm doing that (whether it's talking to them or thinking about them), I'm doing what God wants me to do, He sees my concern and He, since He loves them even more than I do, will do even more. Okay, I feel better now. This makes sense to me. What do you think? Also, all my friends out there, know that I love you a lot (so much so that I seem to always worry I'm not doing enough), and know that God loves you so much more.

I also have some things to write about a book that I read recently that made me feel kinda strange. I don't want to yet though cuz Brian won't let me tell him anything until he at least glances through it. If anyone else wants to glance through it, it's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon. Take it easy folks.


jon said...

your car's name makes me think of that TV psychic

I know what you're saying about friends. I have felt the exact same feelings for about 1.5 years now. At it's worst I feel really useless, as if I can't do anything for anybody's problems and I'm just a waste to them. At best I pray. A lot.

mishi said...

Are you going to ruin this car name for me too? I don't want to have to name my car again, and I might just have to now. Grr.