Monday, September 06, 2004


Things have been confusing lately. I feel like I'm not doing enough and feeling like I'm doing too much at the same time. I've expressed this to a few people already. Today, I took some time to pray and read the bible. Usually times like that at least help me feel refreshed or more at peace, and somehow, I didn't really feel like I got anything out of it. It was awesome to get to pray for a lot of people more in-depth than I usually do, but as far as the unsettled feeling, it's still kinda there. On the other hand, after the time praying, it was easier to make a decision about what I was going to do today than it was before. I was stressed out about what I was going to do today cuz I thought I had a lot to do, but I decided that I didn't really. So today I decided to make dinner for Sharon's family. They've been so nice to me while I've been here that's why. So Sharon and I made tempura and beef donburi. It actually turned out really well. Tempura is a pain in the butt to cook though. Then we watched a movie, "Riding in Cars with Boys". It was really good. I was surprised because I thought it was going to be a crappy drama, but it's a really well made movie. Ed was over and being a trouble-maker(I told him I'd mention him in the blog, I might eventually write a profile about him), but it was still a good night.

Anyway, I guess what I'm wanting right now is just a little more ability to see God. I feel like when I was in Colorado, I didn't feel like I had these great personal interaction times with God, but I could see God so clearly in my life, in the ways things all turned out. I just feel like now I'm out of touch somehow, and I want things to mean more to me than they do. I've also only been back 2 weeks, and I always worry too much or become confused about things that aren't supposed to make me confused (i ALWAYS do this).

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