bible study

Yesterday I went to Sharon's church and she had to help out at the youth service after the service we went to so she told me to go to the english ministry bible study and she would meet me after. The bible study was really good. It was about failure and we studied Luke 22:24-34 and 54-62. I don't ever remember reading that passage. I must have, but hmm.

So the thing that really struck me was that Jesus knew that Peter was going to betray him, and it was like he was saying "you're going to fail me, but after that, when you're restored, strengthen your brothers." (vs. 32). There's so much grace in that. Jesus doesn't take failure as seriously as we do sometimes it seems. He was going to restore Peter again and have faith in him and give him responsibility in His kingdom. I think Jesus sees failure more as an opportunity to learn and grow than some kind of dead end, which is how we see it at times. Gotta love how God can be in control even in the midst of our many failures.

keeping in touch

Today was kinda cool. I vowed to take a day off from driving because in just 4 days, I have gotten completely sick of LA traffic. So most of today was spent indoors and on the phone :). It was a nice keeping in touch day. I got to talk to Brian for a while, and then Brian's mom. Then I called Adam and Ivan. It was really good to talk to them and kinda weird at the same time because it's wei I finished my blog entry about Matthew. I think that was good, it helped me remember good times from the summer. Ho-Jun also called me to tell me he started taking Lindy lessons. Haha, look what I started :). I got to talk to Trudy (who is now engaged by the way), Brad (who's army unit is activated and will be going to Iraq in October), and Joel (who will hopefully be a CPA in 3 years). It's so crazy. So much keeping in touch today. It's good to see that there are so many people that I have known and cared about, and still care about. Praise God for them! But maybe tomorrow I'll make a vow to take a day off from using the phone :).

I also played some internet spades with Sharon. She finally said I was good enough to play rated games with her, so yeah, and we won our first three rated games, yay!

Tonight, Sharon's aunt, uncle, and cousin came over for dinner and we had Kal bi and lots of amazing korean side dishes. Man, I love korean food. I gotta start being more disciplined about the running though if I'm gonna keep eating so well :).

Overall, today was a good day, it reminded me of God's provision, His infinite love for me, and how He'll always give me exactly what I need. In the midst of things being really unsettled, I can know that everything will turn out great :). Thank you Jesus!

Matthew a.k.a. "M-dogg"

Wow, hmm, it seems like there's so much to write about Matthew and I don't know where to start. Matthew said that he was afraid to read what I'm going to write about him. I think he has something to be afraid of ;). One thing that struck me about Matthew right away was his insistence on being called Matthew. I have known a lot of Matthews in the past, and they've all gone by Matt, but not this one . . .

He's a really quiet guy. I guess people that know me well know that I tend to hang around quiet people (you can make your own guesses at why that is). Anyway, so Matthew's a pretty interesting person. He's really quiet, but when he gets to know you better, he's really quick to mock anything and everything you do. I'm not joking, Matthew is relentless with his "one-liners" as Dave calls them. I think that's one reason I got along with Matthew so well, we both love to mock things and people :). He's also a really good sport. Although he didn't let me teach him how to dance, he'll sing "Livin' La Vida Loca" at karaoke if you sign him up for it :). I wonder who did that . . . :)

Matthew's definitely an architect. He's such a perfectionist, his desk always has to be neat, he tends to be very punctual, he has to have everything prepared waaaaaaay ahead of time. We helped him to grow in patience this summer as we always seemed to take forever to decide what to do or even once we decided, we'd take forever to get all of us there. He has commented on his annoyance at this several times.

Matthew is also from Rhode Island. I still don't really understand why this is so funny, but oh well. Oh yeah, I remember, so he once told me this saying they say in Rhode Island: "I'm Rhode Island born and Rhode Island bred, and when I die, I'll be Rhode Island dead." Did I get it right, Matthew? :) Once when stopped at a stoplight, the guydriving behind him stopped, got out of his car, and took a picture of Matthew's License plate cuz I guess he hadn't seen a Rhode Island license plate before. Matthew says that most people in Rhode Island get their initials on their license plates because it's so small.

Matthew also loves sappy romantic comedies. He likes to say that he likes "chick flicks". He insisted that we had to go see "The Princess Diaries 2". They went to see it a couple days after I left Colorado. I can't decide yet if I'm glad that I missed it or not. He also likes country music. I still don't really understand his tie to country music, but yeah, it's like the only thing he listens to in his car. Because of the times I rode in his car, I got a lot more exposure to country this summer. I found myself listening to a country radio station on my way home from work today :). You were such a good influence on me, Matthew.

Okay, I have to start writing good things about Matthew now :). I just thought I'd get my mocking in, hmm, I'm sure there's a lot more bad things to write though . . . :)

So, seriously, something that really struck me about Matthew was his ability to reflect on situations and see the themes and lessons to take away from it. I think that it's because he thinks a lot, but doesn't always share what he's thinking. Then, when he has things more figured out and put together, he shares and blows everyone away. I used to think that when people were quiet, they didn't have much going on, and so, not much to say, but I know that's not true, and definitely not true with Matthew. I've been so blessed by the times that he's shared stuff (in speeches or just one-on-one).

He's really good at writing speeches, scrapbooking, and making movies of his experiences and think that his ability to see what God has done through those experiences really shows through those things. He helped me write my sharing about Honduras talk. I didn't get to hear him give his closing speech, but I got to read it before I left (seeing as he finished it a week ahead of time). It was really awesome, and it made me want to cry. I've also had the opportunity to make scrapbook pages with Matthew and marvel at his mastery at scrapbooking, as well as see him piece together a movie about his summer in a couple hours. He's amazing! (Sorry Jenni, don't worry, you're amazing too!) I guess another thing comes to mind when I think about that. Matthew is really artsy (well, not weird artsy, but surprisingly so for a guy). He appreciates pretty things, and knows what pretty things are. I really admire that. Here's a picture of the watermelon in which Matthew carved the state of Illinois for Jenni and Ho-Jun's last night. Notice the star indicating where Champaigne is. That really blew me away.

Matthew also has one of the greatest smiles ever. It's one of those contagious smiles. I don't think I ever told him that, but yeah. When I was feeling a little down sometimes, I'd be talking to him, and he never really knows what to say (because he's so quiet), but his smile would always make me want to smile too. So yeah, I really miss you, Matthew. I think I could use some of those smiles right now :).

So, I think that's it. One thing that's great is that I know Matthew will keep in touch. He's good about that, so even in writing this, I don't feel like it's really saying goodbye. I'll be praying for you, Matthew. Make sure you have some fun over there in Rhode Island, we won't be around to make sure you have lots of fun stuff to do ;).

life in so-cal

Sigh, so I'm back in southern california . . . yipee. I mean I'm not that sad about it, there are great things about being here: you can get almost every kind of food you'd want to eat (including hawaiian), there's great diversity (it's awesome to see such a mix of people), it's close to the ocean (although the beaches kinda suck), you're 45 minutes from pretty much anything, and lots of my friends are here. Okay, so it's sounding better. I also get to go swing dancing at a real swing club on thursday night. Hooray!!! Okay, I think I cheered myself up about being here even after driving through the LA smog and traffic.

Okay, on to other news, I need a name for my car. I came to the conclusion that it's too cute to have a boy's name, so that limits the options, but if you have any suggestions, you can comment or you can email me at iwannadance12345@yahoo.com.

Oh, I'm really proud of myself. The other night, I really wanted to put links in my blog, so what I did was looked at the html code that makes up my template and found where those other sidebar things are and added some code that made me a little Links section. Hey Brian, aren't you proud of me too? :) I still have to figure out how to make line breaks so I can put other links in it.

Started a job today. That whole thing is a little more complicated so I'm not going to write too much about that here. The people there are really nice though, and the first day was a good experience overall.

I guess that's some kind of update. Please help me out with some car name suggestions! :)

Dave "that movie was life changing" (that's a quote not a nickname)

Here we go Dave. Sorry it took so long, it seems settling in takes a little time. I'm still not very settled in seeing as I have to move again tomorrow. Anyway, I really want to continue writing about the rest of the interns, and it's Dave's turn. Dave left Colorado Springs the same day as I did so he's the next in line.

Dave's from Virginia. You wouldn't think that's a very important fact about him, but it IS important. So important in fact that he doesn't let you forget it. Dave is very proud of the state of Virginia and finds some way to say that it is better than anywhere else he has been. That's also amazing because he's been all over the world. His parents are both in the military so Dave has traveled a lot. Dave has a southern accent that he wants to get rid of because he thinks that there is a stereotype that people with southern accents are dumb. He's not so dumb though.

Dave just graduated from the University of Virginia (another place he's very proud of) in structural engineering. He is one of the 3 interns who have graduated. He will be joining the naval civil engineer corps in the spring. It was really cool having another structural engineering intern in the office. I could go bug him at his desk and talk to him about concrete and loading and fun things like that. It's kinda sad because I didn't get to spend that much time with Dave. He didn't come out with us too often. I wish I had gotten to know him better.

The thing that I liked most about Dave was that he is a really honest person. He isn't afraid to say no to someone, share how he feels about something, or tell it like it is even though it's not always something that people want to hear. I admire his straightforwardness. Dave became a Christian not too long ago. His family is traditionally Catholic and most of his best friends aren't Christian. He has had to struggle with not having much Christian community among the people closest to him. He is still struggling trying to figure out how to be a good witness to them. Dave is also trying to figure out what kind of church he wants to belong to (like me). He really wants to be able to reconcile his faith with the Catholic tradition he has grown up with, and wants to be a witness there as well. He knows he has a lot more to learn, and is very eager to learn things. He has a loves to study the bible in-depth, to think very deeply and critically about it. I also love that about him, that desire for wisdom and answers to deep questions.

Dave also loves extreme things. He has done marathons, other crazy races, and is very disciplined in his exercising. He wants to get to the top of each of the Seven Summits, the tallest peaks on the 7 continents. He's crazy but I believe he'll do it. Go Davey!

last day at eMi

hmm, today was my last day at eMi. It feels very strange making such a big change. I still haven't said most of my goodbyes because I'm going to hang out with the interns tonight and tomorrow they'll all see me off at the Omelette Parlor (it's half price on omelettes before 7 am).

We all went to play shuffleboard today at lunch and Will beat me 83-71. It was an awesome game though, a nail-biter. Then Will bought me a double gulp from 7-11. It is a very LARGE drink (1.9 liters). He thought it would look funny with little me drinking such a big drink (it's about 2 times the size of my head). I didn't even finish half of it.

I also got to take a nice walk with Danna for our last mentoring time and she prayed for me. I'm gonna miss her a lot. She's been an awesome mentor. Don't have much time to write. Jon's waiting for me so we can leave the office for the last time. I probably won't post for a little while, but I gotta remember to get profiles of the other interns up.

Thanks eMi, it's been fun!

comments

hey, i figured out how to let anyone post comments even if you're not a blogger user. Yay! So yeah, now it should work.

Adam a.k.a. "White Lightning"

Today was Adam's last day, and it's a good thing that we had a good talk last night about it being time to leave and saying goodbye and all that because this goodbye stung.

I guess the first thing to say about Adam is that he's a really caring, considerate guy. Adam was the first to respond to me when I first emailed the whole group of interns a couple months before coming here. When I had said that I had never been to Colorado before and I was worried about the weather, he assured me that I'd think it was beautiful, and I'd be okay. He also said he'd be praying for me. Even though I didn't know anything about Colorado or anyone here, I felt better about coming here knowing that Adam would be here. Then Adam was put on my project trip team. Last night he asked me if I thought there was a reason that we were placed on the teams that we went with. He was asking himself, "why Ho-Jun and Michelle?" I don't quite have an answer for you there Adam. But I can think of a lot of reasons though why God put Adam and Ho-Jun in my life and gave me that opportunity to get to know them better. Adam is also the kind of guy that when he drops you off at night, waits till you get into the house before he leaves. Me and Jenni were talking about that and we think it's awesome! This one night, Adam was dropping me off. The outside light wasn't on and I couldn't find the keyhole, so it took me like almost 5 minutes to get into the house. Adam waited, and he yelled to me to see if I was okay. Wow.

Adam's a really outdoorsy guy ;) (don't worry Adam, I'm not calling you cute). He loves backpacking (even in freezing cold weather), fly-fishing, hmm, pretty much everything outdoorsy. He has his own $100 water filter to filter water from streams when he's backpacking. He's a really good guy to have around if you're going camping, because it seems like he always knows what to do.

Another thing that I love about Adam is that he's up for anything. There are too many instances of this to really describe how it's true. Dancing, singing, dressing up, games, eating different foods. He's such a great sport. He danced with me a lot this summer too, and dancing with Adam is always a blast. He's got the waltz down and is catching on to Lindy. He also has this way of singing, where it's like he's not quite in the right key or melody, but it still sounds like the song. It's impossible to sing along with him though ;).

Adam's also very silly. He says the randomest things and tells the cornyest jokes. His expressions are often very exaggerated and it seems like he's always full of energy. The best way I think that I can describe his personality is when I say to someone "take it easy", I would mean "act like Adam". He's hilarious (I probably say that about everyone, but I really think that Adam's hilarious).

Adam has an incredible faith. I'm really inspired by it. It always seems like Adam has no worries, but it's because he trusts God with his life, with everything that is happening and will happen to him. Adam loves seeking after God, and intentionally makes time to listen, pray, and reflect. He can just sit for hours journaling about the things that God is doing in his life and the things he's experiencing. I am surprised because he's so silly that I wouldn't think that he would ponder things so deeply, but sometimes he'll just ask a really deep question and catch everyone off guard. He's the type of person that fills his life with things that remind him of God. Oftentimes when someone fills their lives with things that remind them of God, everything starts reminding them of God. That's what I see in Adam. He just lets everything take him back to God.

Oh, and he gave himself the nickname "White Lightning" while playing ping pong with me. Adam, you're great. Remember that we need to plan our intern reunion!

kinda quiet

I think today's the first day that it's really setting in that everyone's leaving. The office is so quiet (what I expected with Jenni gone :). Today, I was asking around at what everyone was doing for lunch. We had usually gone to the park every day to eat, but out of the 4 interns that were in the office today, 2 of them had mentoring lunches and Lisa wanted to go to the bank. I ended up eating at my desk and catching up on random information on the internet (Jon's cool India pictures, Jordy's blog).

I decided to look at George Bush and John Kerry's political agendas so that I could be a more inforned voter. I still don't know how that's going to work out (california or hawaii residency) but I want to vote this year. Not that I know anything or could make a good decision about stuff like this (remember when I voted for Nader freshman year? Everyone made fun of me). I don't ever really agree with anyone, so how am I supposed to make a decision on who to vote for? We'll see.

I was also reading "The Healing Path" some and was surprised to see that it was talking about being American Christians in a way that didn't piss me off. Yay! Sorry that I'm skipping around so much, but to me thinking about Christian America is directly related to thinking about American government. I don't really know what it means to be a Christian in America, and am constantly struggling with that. I still struggle with being in Colorado Springs and hearing so often the view that America is always right. Anyway, the book says:

"There is a shrill, chest-pounding demand among some that we must return to a "Christian America." The stridency and self-righteousness often associated with those views only seem to kindle a more intense "secular" response of disdain that insists Christianity return to the margins. The defensive world says, "Don'e impose your views on me." The angry church clamors back, "You are not only imposing your godless philosophies on me through the public schools and the media, but you are taking my freedoms away." The result is an intractable debate that further serves to divide and distract the church from living the gospel. What exactly are some Christians calling society to return to? No monolithic, singular Christian viewpoint has ever structured our society; pluralism has been the United States' foundation since its inception. And even if there once was a culture we associate with a more civilized, uniform, and predictable era, it is no more possible to restore that consensus than to click our ruby heels and suddenly return to Kansas. Instead our important task is to engage our culture."

It says more, but it's easier to end there. I gotta get back to work. I'm trying not to be frustrated about work here. Funny, but a lot of it feels meaningless too. I thought I came here to do work that would do something for God's kingdom. I haven't felt that way. I went to Honduras and saw the needs of the deaf community there, and was struck by God's love for them, and His desire to help them, so I was excited about helping with the project. It seems though that that project is a little stuck because the architect hasn't been in touch, and I don't know if I'll get any work done on it before I leave. Maybe I just have a bad attitude today, but it seems like people in the office just want interns around so that they can do busywork to make things look nice. I think people care too much about things looking nice.

cowboy weekend

This last weekend was lots of fun. It was kinda sad though because Ho-Jun and Jenni left, then Will went to the Carolinas for a wedding and to talk to his girlfriend's dad about marrying her (go Will!), Dave went to California to visit a friend, and Lisa's family was in town so she was hanging out with them. Only Matthew, Adam, and I were left.

Peter, Adam's roomie just got a new job scheduling worship at the world prayer center. It's quite a change from his engineering job. He starts on wednesday. Because of that, his friends decided to throw him a cowboy themed karaoke party. Peter really wants to be a cowboy, but he thinks that the only way he could be one is to marry into a ranching family or something. Who knows? :) Anyway, so on saturday (after I saw Jenni off at 5 in the morning) we went shopping for costumes to wear to the party. It was a lot of fun! I ended up getting a good deal on pants at Target, but that's a different story. It was kinda stressful to try to figure out what would make me look like a cowgirl. I don't know that there are many asian cowgirls out there. We realized it's all about accesories, and it was mostly the hat. I ended up just buying a hat at WalMart (boo), and I found a cool shirt (actually Matthew found it for me) at the Western Warehouse (it wasn't really a cowgirl shirt, but it was nice, cheap, and I'd wear it again). Then we went back to Peter's and dressed up. Matthew made Adam this aluminum foil belt buckle that said "1975 Rodeo Champ" on it. It was huge. I have a picture of Adam with his belt buckle, but it's blurry.

(By the way, Brian just gave me webspace to post pictures now so I don't have to deal with stupid buzznet.com that only lets me post 10 pictures a day. If you want to look at that gallery, it s at http://zakarov.suitejesus.com/friends/gallery/mich/ although most of the pictures will be linked to on the blog (but not all))

Anyway, after dressing up, we decided to go to a Japanese restaurant. Peter says it's the best Japanese restaurant in Colorado Springs. It was pretty good. It was the first time in a long time that I've had japanese food. Hooray for sushi! Peter paid for the meal . . . did I mention that Peter is awesome? We then headed for the party. It's kinda sad because Jenni left and she would take tons of pictures with her digital camera, and Matthew got sand in his at the sand dunes, so all the picture-taking was left to me. I didn't do such a great job, but at least we have some. Here are Matthew, Adam, and I at the party. I didn't sing much country (I don't know too much country), but Adam and I decided to dance to every song. It was so much fun. I got to polka, waltz, Lindy, and just do whatever. Here's a picture of Matthew and Adam being weird (I love that picture, It sort of captures how strange Adam can be at times). Here's a picture of me and Matthew. Jeni (a different one), she's Lisa's roomie for the summer, she has a karaoke business, so she DJ'd for the event. She's awesome. She also DJ'd for our other karaoke party last week.

Let's see, what else? Oh, so after the party, we decided to watch the movie, "The Man from Snowy River". It was a cowboy movie. It was interesting, not bad for a movie that was made in 1982, although the special effects were a little iffy.

On sunday, I went to New Life church with Adam. The service was pretty interesting because they were between studying two books of the bible, instead of a sermon, the pastor went over questions that people in the congregation have asked him and tried to answer them. There were questions about the nation of Israel, the rapture, women teaching, speaking in tongues. I mean, so many controversial Christian topics. I was a little overwhelmed after listening to that. I liked some things the pastor had to say, and disagreed with others. It was good because it challenged me to think about those things. I usually don't.

After church, Matthew and I decided to put together the scrapbook pages that Danna had allotted us in her scrapbook. She only gave us 2 pages, can you believe that? So, we put some of our pictures on a CD and took it to Walgreens to get them printed. I love crafts, but I have never done a scrapbook before. It was okay though, because Matthew has scrapbook experience :). We went to Peter's to do the scrapbook so Adam could "help". It was really fun! I have pictures of the finished product, but they're kinda bad because they're a little blurry and the flash leaves bad reflections on the pictures. Here's the first page, and here's the second page.

Then we decided to watch another movie. Matthew and I went to Blockbuster, and after being there for over half an hour, decide to get "The Muppet Movie". I think that was my fault. We went back to Peter's and found out that "The Muppet Movie" is horrible. Peter had the movie, "The Horse Whisperer" (another cowboy movie), so we decided to watch that instead. We must have put in the movie at like 10 pm, not realizing that it's 2 and a half hours long. I really liked the movie, although I'm a little bit tired today. Oh well, I only have another week and a half in the springs, so I gotta make use of the time I have left. Adam's also leaving this friday . . . more goodbyes. Sigh. Anyway, that's the end of my cowboy weekend. I learned that cowboys are pretty cool and I can understand the "Cowboy Take me Away" song by the Dixie Chicks now :). Although, when we went to Cowboys, the night club, no one was very friendly there. So maybe I don't like cowboys as much as I think I do. Hmm, I'm confused, though I really want to go horseback riding now :).

Jenni a.k.a. "I'm amazing!"

Wow, I don't know how to write about Jenni. I have called her Sista the whole summer, and I totally feel like that's what she's been to me. While we were praying Ho-Jun and Jenni out this morning, I realized that Jenni has been God's grace to me this summer. God knew I needed a roommate, and He knew I needed someone to encourage me and get me excited about things. I have to admit, in the beginning I was a little annoyed at how excited she was about EVERYTHING, but now, I'm pretty excited too :).

It's a little tough that she's leaving, but I know that we'll see each other again, maybe as soon as september at Ivan's harvest party :). Anyway, before I describe her anymore, here are some pictures of Jenni. There aren't too many pictures of just Jenni because she takes most of them. On the other hand, there are about 5 million pictures of me and Jenni together, so I'll put a couple of those in.

What is she doing?
spoon
aren't we cute?
Jenni piggy-backing me
eating candy off our candy necklaces (that's my desk in the background)

So Jenni . . . I have to say that she would not normally be someone that I would get along with very well. I don't know if I have told you any of this Jenni, but yeah, I usually have problems with people like you (outgoing and very confident), but I've had AMAZING times of fellowship with Jenni this summer. I loved the times that we stayed up late talking even when we would be sooooo tired at work the next day, and I wouldn't have been able to survive without her physical affection ;). She would also make me melt when she called me babe. She knows how to make you laugh. Her laughter is really contagious. When she laughs at the office, everyone knows, and it's great. Man, things are going to be waaaaaay too quiet without Jenni at the office. It was great when I would go run an errand or something, come back to my desk and Jenni is sitting in my chair looking at pictures on my computer. It's amazing how much work we get done here :). Also, sometimes I pick up on things that people tend to say often. One day I was repeating to Jenni the phrases that I hear her saying often, "I'm amazing!" being the big one. She then replied, "if someone didn't know me very well, they could mistake me for the most conceited person on the planet." There is no need to say anymore about that . . . :) There are serious things to say about Jenni too, even though the non-serious things about her were one of the greatest blessings (for everyone that knows me, you know how serious I can be at times, I think I needed some non-serious stuff this summer).

This girl loves God. It's inspiring how much she loves God. She thinks very deeply about the Bible and is really good at recognizing God's faithfulness. She has troubles, but in the midst of those she is good at never despairing. We had some great talks about life and love. One of the moments I will never forget was when we decided to pray together. We were both feeling a little uncertain about things in our lives, so this one night we just decided to pray, and we prayed for like 45 minutes. It was awesome.

I'm gonna share some other random Jenni facts. Jenni is from Illinois and is half Korean, half white. In her testimony, she talked about most of the blessings in her life coming from her mother's faithfulness in prayer, how her mother, being a single parent, would have to work really hard to support her family, but would still get up really really early in the morning to pray for her children. Jenni's mom sounds awesome, I'd like to meet her someday. Jenni is a person that always has to be doing something. It's kinda cool to live with her because it seems like I'm never bored. As soon as there's nothing to do, she tells me to call someone up and see what they're up to (I'd always call because even though she's really social, she doesn't know how to use a phone). Jenni also loves Korean culture. She is constantly asking Ho-Jun what everything means in Korean. She wants to go to Korea, and learn Korean and do everything Korean. I guess that's the best way to describe it.

Jenni left on friday and I was going to post something about her not calling me to tell me that she reached safely, but she just called :). Yay! I miss you Jenni! Hopefully I'll see you again soon.

Ho-Jun a.k.a. "Tony"

Ho-Jun and Jenni are leaving tomorrow morning. Goodbyes are so hard. This summer has been really weird, it's like the interns spend all their time together and get to know each other really well, and then we all leave. Jenni likes to make me sad and say things like "what if we never see each other again?" Sigh. Anyway, I'm going to continue my writing about each intern, and it's Ho-Jun's turn. He's hilarious. Here are some good Ho-Jun pictures:

mohawk on the mountain
eating the Conquistador at El Patio (great Honduran restaurant)
taking a break after the hike
I have no idea

Ho-Jun's from Korea, and today is actually his one-year anniversary of when he arrived in the United States. He's been going to grad school in architecture at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaigne. That's how he heard about eMi. 4 of the interns here this summer heard about eMi from the Urbana conference, pretty crazy. Ho-Jun is an Autocad master. I always go to him to ask him random autocad questions or ask him to do things for me, and even though he always tells me no, he always ends up helping me :). He's also a really really hard worker. He has got a lot of work done this summer for Glen and has been a great blessing to this ministry. He and Adam went on the same trip to Honduras as me.

To me, Ho-Jun embodies courage. I cannot imagine what it would be like to just go to a different country and jump into things like he has. He said today as he shared at devotions that his experience of Colorado Springs is the first time that he's been in american society. In Illinois, he always hung out with his korean friends, but here he doesn't really have korean friends to hang out with. Whenever we go do something, it seems like his first time doing it, and he's always up for it. He never talks about being afraid, but trusts God as he steps into every new situation. One thing about Ho-Jun that has been a great blessing to me has been his willingness to dance. This boy (It's kinda a joke to call him a boy because he's 27 years old) is a really quick learner. I taught him to Lindy this summer, and he's pretty darn good. I was afraid when I came here because none of the interns danced, but Ho-Jun has been a great sport, and he Lindies in the park with me on tuesdays :). I've also taught him some hip-hop. It's been so fun Ho-Jun! He always acts like a little kid too, always a trouble maker, like when we were putting the puzzle together, he would steal pieces and break things apart while everyone else was working on it. It's hard to believe he's older than everyone else, he acts like he's the youngest ;).

Another thing is that he hates speaking in front of people, I think mostly because he's not very confident in his ability to speak english, but let me tell you, every time he gets up to speak in front of people, he says something that is profound and it touches your heart. In Honduras, we went to church and we all had to get up and say something. Jason told us that the night before, and Ho-Jun right away said "I'm not gonna do it". When we drove up to the church he pretended to hide in the van. When he got up there though, he spoke about his experience of coming to honduras, and not only did no one there speak korean, no one there spoke english. He looked through all the pictures of his family in korea, and felt really lonely when we got there. He then spoke of his understanding of God in that; that he knew he had a friend that understood everything, that could understand loneliness better than anyone. I felt really touched by that. He has a great understanding of God because of his willingness to be wherever God leads him.

Oh, the nickname. His nickname is actually his american name. When we were in Honduras, he asked everyone there to try to give him an american name. He is so particular. I must have listed off a hundred names before he sort of settled on Tony. He still cracks up whenever anyone calls him that, so I think he's not quite satisfied with it.

Ho-Jun shared today about how this summer has been a gift to him from God, and now he can say he has american friends. You do Ho-Jun, and you better keep in touch!!!

hope

I feel like the last couple days has been full of reflecting for me. I'm thinking about the future and what it holds. I'm think about trying to find a job, what it will be like going back to california. I think about Brian and his making a decision this week whether or not to stay in Uganda for a couple more months. Things feel uncertain and unsettled, and I feel like I'm bombarded by thoughts and memories. I am struggling to hold on to and dwell on the memories of God's redemption instead of those of failure and sadness. I brought "The Healing Path" with me to work today so I can quote a part that really spoke to me about hope. Remember what I wrote yesterday about hope being the memory of the future. This kinda goes off of that.

"To remember the future is to see tomorrow through the eyes of yesterday. What was yesterday? The loss of a job, victimization, bottomless grief, pointless sacrifice that brought little good? Was it deep struggle, an intense drama and terror that eventually brought us to our knees and to the face of God? Everything hinges on the past. We will project the past into every new moment and either repeat our past themes of victimization or marvel at the work of God in redeeming us in spite of our questions and doubt. What divides the two paths--the healing path from the path of victimization? The answer is simple: desire . . . To remember the future is to dream--to imagine redemption won in the wake of innocence lost. It is to surrender to our insatiable impulse to see the broken pieces of our past cemented together into a stronger whole that existed before our innocence was shattered. To remember the future is to recall and recollect the Exodus drama that took us to the edge of despair only for the waters to part. We move into the future not with a map, a plan, or a clear structure, but with the whisper of a story that reminds us that we will again see the goodness of God in the land of the living."

God has been calling me to hope all this summer, and restoring my dreams and the things to hope in. Yesterday was probably when I was most confused. A bunch of us decided to go to the World Prayer Center to pray and worship. It was an interesting time. I am a little confused about what I think about the World Prayer Center in general. It seems like it epitomizes contemporary Christianity to me, it seemed really showy and weird. To tell you the truth, I really didn't like the place. It was good to get some time to pray and read the word though. I really didn't pray about all the stuff that I was confused about, but I surrendered everything and tried to seek God with everything I had. God led me to read the book of Lamentations. That was really awesome because like what "The Healing Path" was saying, it was reminding me of where I was and where God has taken me. I felt that I really related to Jerusalem in her sin and fall:

"In the days of her affliction and wandering
Jerusalem remembers all the treasures
that were hers in days of old.
When her people fell into enemy hands,
there was no one to help her.
Her enemies looked at her
and laughed at her destruction.

Jerusalem has sinned greatly
and so has become unclean.
All who honored her despise her,
for they have seen her nakedness;
she herself groans
and turns away.

Her filthiness clung to her skirts;
she did not consider her future.
Her fall was astounding;
there was none to comfort her.
"Look, O LORD, on my affliction,
for the enemy has triumphed."
. . .

What can I say for you?
With what can I compare you,
O Daughter of Jerusalem?
To what can I liken you,
that I may comfort you,
O Virgin Daughter of Zion?
Your wound is as deep as the sea.
Who can heal you?"

The author of Lamentations also calls us to hope:

" I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have HOPE:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose HOPE is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD."

There were some other things that happened last night that are a little confusing, but I'm trusting that God has things under control. It was a good time in prayer and reflection, and the time I spent there went by really quickly. Anyway, that's all the somber stuff I guess. I'm still feeling conflicted and unsettled, but I think I'm just supposed to sit in the tension for now :). That reminds me of Jonny. I would appreciate prayer for peace and joy and the ability to hope.

relaxing

We took a break last night from going out, and it was nice. Yesterday was a little stressful at work, and maybe because of the stress, I started feeling kinda sad or something. I was writing my update email yesterday and I remember writing about God showing me that there's always a place and a purpose for me. But yesterday as I was writing it, I didn't really feel like it was true. I was realizing as I was talking to Joshdan on the phone that it happens to me quite often. I see something that God is doing in my life and I want to tell people about it. As soon as I have opportunity to tell people about it, something happens to make me doubt that it's true in the first place. It was cool realizing that yesterday because now I feel like it's God asking me, "Are you sure that you trust me, are you sure that you saw me provide for you?" So last night instead of going out, I got to read some and talk to people on the phone. I talked to Joshdan, Brian's parents, and my parents. It's cool to be able to keep in touch with people.

I've been reading a book called "The Healing Path" as part of my mentoring time. Me and Danna read a couple chapters a week and talk about it during our mentoring time. It's been really good to read because it helps me to reflect on the healing work God is doing in me this summer. The chapter I was reading last night was about hope. I thought it was very appropriate. The author defines hope as the memory of the future. I've never really heard it described that way before. It's like looking to your future through remembering the goodness of God from the past. There are cool quotes I want to write in and I'll do that when I remember to bring the book to work with me :). I am thinking I want to go to the World Prayer Center tonight to pray and listen to God. It would be really awesome to go with all the interns.

lots of sand

The sand dunes were great! So the sand dunes are a national monument. I don't really understand that. They are the biggest sand dunes in North America if I'm not mistaken, and they're about 1000 ft. tall. They look really weird because they're really out of place. There's not supposed to be that much sand right in the middle of the mountains. It was incredibly beautiful though. I felt a little jipped because it was like having sand without the ocean, but climbing them was really rewarding. We also camped overnight in the forest around the dunes. Here's a picture of me and Adam cooking stew. The stew was quality! To get to our campsite, we had to off-road for about 20 minutes. It was exactly like going on a roller coaster, especially with Peter driving, except on roller coasters, they restrain you enough that you don't hit your head as often. This is a picture of Jenni and Ho-Jun on the drive to the sand dunes. I think we were on paved road by then. I just had to put the picture in because it's great. Oh, Peter is the guy that Adam's been living with. He was an intern at eMi 6 years ago, and he's awesome. He hangs out with us quite a bit and I would call him an honorary intern. We hang out at his house at least once a week cuz he's so awesome. Those weird glasses that Jenni is wearing are Peter's safety goggles. I have to say they are the coolest looking safety goggles I have ever seen. I have a picture of every intern wearing them :). Anyway, back to the sand dunes . . . Here's a picture of us starting out, I think it's us but I'm not really sure. Matthew took the picture. Here's a picture of me and Jenni at the beginning of the hike. Then the hike . . . it was really intense. We decided to go straight up instead of trying to find a ridge to walk on so we hiked up dunes and ran down them on the other side and had to hike up another one after that. Matthew said that we took the foolish man's way. Maybe he was right, but I felt really extreme doing it :). Here's us hiking up a dune. More climbing. Here's a picture Matthew took of me from behind. He said that it looked like it would make a good inspirational poster for perseverence or something. Look at that sunset. We hiked it just as the sun was setting, so it was sooooooooo beautiful. I'm thinking I want to move to Colorado every summer. Yeah, I think I should live in Hawaii every winter, and Colorado every summer :). I don't have any pictures from the top because I can only post 10 pictures a day, and the lighting was really bad when we got to the top so the pictures didn't come out that great. Too bad :(.

All in all, it was a great trip. I'm getting used to camping, sleeping on the ground, feeling sticky and gross. I'm not quite used to having to find a good spot to pee. I think I'm getting a lot more rugged though. I've come a long way.

Anyway, I should get back to work. Got lots and lots to do today. It's crazy that I have less than 3 weeks left here. I need to get stuff done for my project before then because I don't know if they'll get another intern to do the work after I leave. There will only be 3 interns here for the fall. My poor project leader, Jason, seems to be getting a little anxious. You can pray that our head architect, Tim, who right now is moving because he just quit his job and is going to start attending seminary in the fall will get back to us soon so that we can start the structural design. It's crazy, it seems that everyone that went on the trip with us is moving or making some crazy change in their lives. We need lots of prayer.

Alright, I'll probably post more pictures tomorrow. Take it easy.